Children with high self-esteem and confidence can recognize their abilities and feel a sense of pride in what they are able to do. When they have this confidence, they are not afraid of trying and making mistakes because they know they have the ability to try harder next time. Instilling confidence in my girls is very important to me. It makes my heart burst when my daughters are proud of something they did.
The way we parent and communicate with our kids has a huge impact on their confidence and self-esteem. The more positive and encouraging the parent, the more engaged and confident the child. At work I am constantly preaching to parents how important it is to instill confidence and praise their kids for the things that they are doing right. It breaks my heart to hear a child say to me that they wished their parent would point out more of the good stuff that they do, rather than the bad. Hearing what my clients tell me also helps me be a better parent. I take what they say and come up with ways that foster the things that they may be lacking. From the ideas of things my clients have told me, I came up with 10 ways to boost your child’s self-confidence.
They are:
1. Use positive, encouraging words: “You took your time and figured out how to put the whole puzzle together”; “You didn’t give up and you got a huge hit!”
2. Help them problem solve: Don’t solve the problem for them – encourage them through it, give them small hints but let them struggle and do it themselves.
3. Let them help: Giving them things that they can do around the house like dusting and taking care of a pet gives kids a sense of responsibility and they feel like they made a difference.
4. Pay attention: Show them that they are the priority by taking an interest in what they are doing or what they’re into – when they feel seen, it makes them feel important.
5. Be Confident in Yourself: Kids are always watching us – so face your own obstacles with courage and positivity and be kind to yourself!
6. Let them take risks: If you’re at the playground and your child wants to cross the monkey bars for the first time – let them try, and be ready if and only if they need you.
7. Say yes more often: They will feel like you have confidence that they can do the things they ask and they will have the courage to ask you to do things
8. Welcome mistakes: We all make mistakes – sometimes we make a lot. These can become teachable moments where we can demonstrate problem solving and show our kids how to persevere or when to call it quits.
9. Spend time together: Having fun, being silly, laughing and playing are all amazing ways to connect to your child. When they feel connected to us, they in turn feel good about themselves. It’s fun for them but it can also be fun for us too!
10. Acknowledge their Worries: All children have some fears and anxieties. When a child feels like they are being heard and get their worries out in the open, you can help them through the situation and build their confidence that they were able to overcome their fears and anxieties.
