How I Cope with Anxiety

Your heart is racing, you’re sweating, you feel nauseous, have an upset stomach, your chest hurts and you feel like you’re going to die.

That is what my anxiety feels like.

Being anxious is something that everyone experiences to a degree at some point in their life. But having chronic anxiety or a panic attack is different.

I’ve experienced anxiety in public places. If the mall is super crowded or a store is crowded, my skin crawls, I feel panicky and I just need to get out as fast as possible. In graduate school I would have to do presentations and I would experience a severe upset stomach, sweating, heart racing, chest pain and I would freeze trying to present my project. It was awful. I’ve worked for years on ways to overcome my own anxiety, as well as working with my clients on their anxiety. Check out below 12 different ways I cope with my anxiety.

Talk to Someone

Pick up that phone and talk to someone (I know – that’s so old school right?!). It could be someone you know or someone you don’t know. There are so many amazing help lines and other groups out there, there is someone for everyone to talk to.

Or, if you are around people, why not tap your friend, colleague or partner on the shoulder and ask them to go for a walk – and then either talk to them about how you are feeling or about mindless, random things.

Breathe

In through your nose out through your mouth. It may be extremely hard, especially when experiencing a panic attack, but it is one of the most important things to do!

When anxiety hits, try to focus on the process of breathing only. Not forcing your breathing to change – if you are anything like me this might make you hyperventilate. I’m talking about being aware of your breathing because you might be shallow breathing, holding your breath when stressed, or simply forgetting to breathe.

Avoid too much caffeine

For those who are prone to anxiety, caffeine may not be the most helpful thing for you. Too much caffeine can leave you jittery and your heart racing. Couple that with anxiety and it’s not a good mix.

I love caffeine. I drink coffee in the morning and will have a diet soda in the afternoon. Anything more than that and I swear I vibrate around the room.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness is defined as a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique (Merriam Webster). I wrote a post on mindfulness a while back – you can check it out here.

Stop what it is you are doing and find a place to sit. Practice being in the present moment. Be where you are now. Not in the past, when something happened, or in the future, when something might happen. Right now where you are. Right at this second.

Listen to music

Find your favorite upbeat, happy song or something that brings good memories to mind and listen to it for a little while.

If you can, load a bunch of feel good songs onto your phone so that you can take them everywhere you go (along with some good headphones) and if you feel a panic attack coming on, you can plug in your earphones, switch on your song and tune out of your environment and anxiety.

Try the Grounding Technique

Look around you and identify and name:

5 things you can see – 4 things you can hear – 3 things that you can feel – 2 things that you can smell – and 1 thing that you can taste

This is also a practice of mindfulness and a good way to try and distract your mind from racing with anxious thoughts.

Go for a walk

I feel like a nice long walk is the best cure for almost everything, and if you don’t have time for a long walk don’t worry about it! So, if you are experiencing anxiety and are able to leave wherever you are – and go for a walk around the block, to the park, to the store, wherever! The movement and fresh air will do you the world of good.

Try Essential Oils

No this isn’t a plug for buying essential oils, hear me out. Essential oils are not a cure for anything but there are a ton of uses for them. I use lavender oil and apply it to my neck and temples when I feel anxious or stressed and it definitely helps calm me down. I personally use the brand DoTerra, but there are different reputable brands out there. It’s worth a try, trust me.

Keep a Mood Diary

Sometimes we have no idea what triggers our anxiety. Maybe it was nothing. Or maybe it’s something and we are just not conscious of it. I tell my clients if they are unsure of any triggers to their moods, keep a mood diary for a week or two. Track on a scale of 1-10 how your mood is, track when anxiety hits and when you feel better, and keep track of food and water intake, as well as any drugs or alcohol and how much sleep you are getting a night. Once the week is complete, go back and look at the week and see if there are any trends or identifiable triggers.

Mood diaries are something that you can create yourself and make it custom specifically to you or you can google mood diary and use one that is readily available and can be printed.

Write About It

Writing is an amazing therapeutic tool. You can get whatever is in your head out on a piece of paper and sometimes that is extremely helpful and powerful.

Grab yourself a little notebook and a pen or two and carry them with you wherever you go. When in need, allow yourself to write out your thoughts without overthinking. What you write doesn’t need to make sense. Just allow the streams of consciousness to flow. The whole process of writing with a pen and paper is cathartic and it will make you will better and possibly less overwhelmed.

Just remember to keep them simple so you don’t get overwhelmed! You can check out Pinterest for a bunch of different writing prompts that suit your style.

Color

Yes, I said color. Like when you did when you were 4. Grab a coloring book (they have ones for adults now) and grab some markers or crayons and get coloring. If you are artistic or crafty, then go one step beyond and create your own masterpiece if you can. I can tell you that I have printed off a coloring sheet at work and colored in for 10 minutes to relax my mind. It is extremely therapeutic.

See someone

Talk to a counselor or see a doctor, and remember – there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Talking to someone is a good way to gain perspective and it is not something that you have to do weekly – you can base it off of what you need.

I don’t use all of these techniques every time I feel anxious – but I have tried every single one and they have helped. Depending on the day, I may have more of a need to connect with someone and will talk to someone. Other days, I want to be alone and will go for a walk or put on my headphones and just try to relax and breathe. It depends on the day.

What are some ways you try to relax or ease your anxiety?

Disclaimer: I am a licensed mental health professional but this advice is not a replacement for the treatment you may be receiving from your own mental health provider. Any treatment or advice from your provider should continue to be followed. This is simply a list of coping skills that work for my anxiety. I know everyone is different and these techniques may or may not work for you.