Motherhood is an amazing blessing but man is it hard. There are so many days that you feel that no matter what you do, you just can’t do anything right. I think I can say we’ve all been there. Trust me when I tell you that you are doing the best that you can and if you even question that for a minute – you are doing an amazing job. I think we create unrealistic expectations for ourselves about what it’s going to be like – and when you’re up at 1am covered in vomit or poop – you tend to wonder where things went wrong. I read an article Zoe Withers wrote from Thinkbaby.org about lessons in motherhood and I was so inspired I wanted to share some of my own lessons. Check out her blog thinkbaby.org for awesome advice on all things baby-related. Here are some of the lessons inspired by her post that I feel are helpful that I’ve learned along my journey through Motherhood:
- 1. Whatever you do – don’t compare yourself to other moms. When you check out other mom’s posts on Facebook or other forms of social media – you only see a small snippet of people’s lives. The screaming tantrums, and mom hiding in the bathroom eating the last cupcake by herself – these are all things that are kept top secret and not published for the world to see and judge. Motherhood is a lonely job at times – but you are not alone.
- 2. From the time they are born – you have 18 summers with your baby – enjoy them to the fullest. I read this somewhere and it really put things into perspective. It just does not seem like a lot of time. Love them a ton when you can. Time goes by way too quickly.
- You have an audience wherever you are – our kids watch us and look to us to show them the right way. The right way to react to situations, the right ways to treat others and be treated ourselves. So next time you get annoyed and berate someone about how slow they are, next time you light up a cigarette, or call yourself fat – know that your kids are there and they are listening to every. single. word.
- Choose your words carefully. I’ve learned this not just as a mother but as a therapist hearing countless stories from teenagers about things their parents would say either in jest or what was meant to be helpful – but turned out that their child took it completely differently and those words cut so deep.
- Pick your battles. Sometimes the difference between flip flops and cute sandals may mean a lot to you – but is it really worth the 20 minute tantrum that ensues when you enforce the fact that they wear the sandals that you want? Saying yes and giving in doesn’t make you a bad mom. And if it was a bad choice – let natural consequences teach your child the lesson.
- Praise your child. For every negative – find 20 positives and tell them what they are. Be specific. “I love how you colored so well in the lines”. “You used you’re manners and said please – that makes me so happy”. We are so wired to only telling our kids what they are doing wrong – tell them what they are doing right and I guarantee you will see a difference in how your child interacts with you.
Regardless of what you take away from this post – know that you are doing a great job. Give yourself a break because you deserve it. Let me know in the comments some advice you would give moms that motherhood has taught you.
Xo
Morgan
